white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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