I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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