You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
