If that was your dad, he is hot
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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