Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
