And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize