I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
