once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
