I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
