There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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