Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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