that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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