Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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