Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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