Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All I want is dick and wine.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize