She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
