people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
