so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
