Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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