As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
