Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
