return my video game
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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