I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
