You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
