Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
