Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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