Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
