I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
