Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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