Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
