I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
