i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
