Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
