I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
