Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
