Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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