I didn't shave. On purpose
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
where are my pants?
in the oven.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
