If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
