absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
