I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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