apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
