Kiss
Puke
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
