I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
