I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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