Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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