we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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