yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
