I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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