the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
