this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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