I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
