You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
