He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
