I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
