you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
