I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
