dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
3 2 1 whiskey
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
