Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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