4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
