I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
