talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dignity is for republicans.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So much rum. So many feels.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
